[This is a little abstract. If you don't like the style of this kind of writing, don't read it! ]
“Tough times never last but tough people do” – Robert H. Schuller
What makes life interesting is when things happen incidentally, without a scent of intention. Predications are natural. People see things in two ways. Either they know what it is or they guess what it is. This works almost every time. It is natural. It happens to everyone!
But there are times we experience something more deeper. Something without a clue. Something which is not known or could be guessed what it is. And every actions confined in this situation clashed with nature. Nature exists because it keeps order. Actually, obligatory. Like every working thing, nature also has a Manager. The only natural thing that is not fully ordered, because of freewill, is human.
Last week, I experienced a glimpse of it. I wanted a smell of my senses out of no where. I looked happiness in a wrong place. I searched my belonging from where I never placed it. I went against nature and touched the edge of unordered life. It was no of any special. It was a matter of talk. Small actions which doesn’t even have a little control of itself. Freewill without freedom. Free actions with a painful rejection and beautiful hands. Probably, mind warming confusion of taking what is not mine. Go beyond law of nature. I jumped and stayed where I was. I needed to jump again to get where I am now. I liked the jumping. It was jogging. It was dancing. It was no of reason. It was what it was. But I didn’t like where it took me. It wasn’t a place where I wanted to stay. It took another jump. And this time, it was not a jog. It was a dive. The beauty of dive is measured on the state of a matter – at least, it should be liquid.
Aha, I liked it. It was gas.
Last week, I was living with it. It made my face full of smile. I experienced half of the emotics. My life is not depend on it. So I could investigate it. I could see it outside of me. I could mange to do the alpha test. I ran it. I executed it. I closed it. I got my control back. I can play with it or just throw it into the trash. I also own the trash. I have power to eliminate it or to retrieve it. I don’t need to rush. I have plenty of time. I have enough space. I have lots of options.. Now, I have the freewill with full-freedom. It doesn’t need extra effort. I don’t have to jump to see it. It is performing just right here. Exactly where I am.
It takes only wink to communicate.