I am 30.
It’s been a long life.
I have doubted a lot of time moving back and forth in time thinking that if I belong to a past or a future generation. But the truth is, I am just from this generation and keep calming and lovin’ it.
Three decades of living, of course, like everyone else I asked myself what did I do with one third of my life (with Ethiopian life expectancy in 60% of my life)? And again, it’s been really a long life.
I notice my hair is getting thinner, but not as bad at Wayne Rooney. I have way more friends than Jesus at 30. He died only two years older than me. I haven’t got married nor have children but I love for the right reason and only for one reason – just for the love. I don’t own a car. But from the flower farms of Alkmaar to the base of Kilimanjaro, from the coldest top of Ankober to the warmth of Windhoek, I traveled many places I couldn’t even imagined being there. I learnt everywhere is reachable. You see, I am not rich, but I challenged money more that it challenged me. As we defiantly have problems with counting – as money became the most countable thing when it comes to value. How about counting millions of smiles, millions of footsteps to follow & millions of music chords to listen to? All the other millions worth counting and be rich of them.
I have been involving in two great projects, which have won international plaudits, featured on The Economist, BBC, Al Jazeera, ZDNet, CCTV, ArteTV ..etc
But 30 years, I have seen, and still, people are not living free, but killed, slaved, trafficked, jailed and abused by another human being. I have seen unnecessary stereotypes. People create inequalities among gender, races & boarders. I have seen journalists thrown to jail, evangelists stoned, and gays discriminated.
30 years. And all my life questions not yet fully answered. Why am I on earth? I can give you a hell of statists, how many kilograms of food I ate, how many kilometers I walked, how many words I read, and how many human connections I established – all over thousands. When I was a kid, I used to go to a riverside, lying on my back and look at the blue sky. I noticed how the clouds slowly move and I never found same shape of clouds until now – always different and always moving – that’s where I also connect with God. But the question at that time is not beyond curiosity. I thought, when I am 30 I will find the answers for all my questions – the truth is at 30, I have more questions than answers. But I feel lucky that I connect with God and nature since childhood – not many years were wasted.
Life is uncertain and unpredictable that’s why they call it a life. I learned that the more life is uncertain the more we look forward to live – beauty lies on. We can’t give guarantee that we don’t die because we don’t know what can trap us. No guarantee to have ever lasting relationship because most people grab the low hanging fruit, be happy, be successful, and be rich, be rich & happy, be healthy, be beautiful, be nice, be the person whatever one wants us to be. I am 30. I learned that we would only be what we want to be – regardless of what others expectations. We are unique on the surface of the earth, as not two clouds shape alike; our life shape is specifically unique.
Not a single person in past and current generation has exact attribute and shape of life and character as I have. This is very (!) comforting feeling. The rest, it isn’t too much to worry about. Least to do is to laze at the side of the river and connect with God and nature.
“I have finally concluded, maybe that’s what life is about: there’s a lot of despair, but also the odd moment of beauty, where time is no longer the same. It’s as if those strains of music created a sort of interlude in time, something suspended, an elsewhere that had come to us, an always within never. Yes, that’s it, an always within never.” ― Muriel Barbery, The Elegance of the Hedgehog